Writer A.R. Moxon uses an interesting analogy to explain a highly sensitive topic.
In many cases, the best way to bridge a gap between perspectives is through a concisely worded analogy. While there are plenty of empathetic men, and many male survivors of sexual assault, there is still an overtly gendered gap between how this week's confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh has affected women and men.
Even if you're on the same side politically, the visceral way Christine Blasey-Ford's personal testimony of sexual assault triggered female survivors across the country is very different than how it affected men who haven't experienced assault.
So, in a clever analogical effort to bridge the emotional gap of our current political hellscape, the writer A.R. Moxon wrote a thread that perfectly explained to other men how women feel about Kavanaugh.
Hi, guys. Imagine if one day you got kicked in the nuts, really hard, on purpose. You doubled over. Felt the pain… https://t.co/x07N9Zg0uK— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828103
Imagine it happened to you when you were 12. Imagine it was an 38 year old woman who did it. Imagine it was your m… https://t.co/jxEqbucEtE— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828116
Imagine you told your parents and they didn’t believe you. Imagine they never mentioned it again. You learned to ke… https://t.co/NkCOLVnhPE— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828133
Imagine that later your father explained that women just wanted to kick men in the nuts, so as a boy you had to be… https://t.co/smLBGaeAUZ— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828160
Imagine that later your father explained that women just wanted to kick men in the nuts, so as a boy you had to be… https://t.co/smLBGaeAUZ— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828160
He effectively reframed women's experiences with assault and sexual violence through the analogical lense of getting kicked in the nuts, which may sound silly upon first reading, but actually works as a strong parallel to women's experiences.
Imagine you became aware that women, including much older women—even elderly women—were always looking at your nuts… https://t.co/KbMIsF5SDp— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828186
Imagine you started wearing clothes to hide them. You bought uncomfortable protective gear. All the posters and ad… https://t.co/E8b8nGwb6m— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828219
Imagine most of your friends all told you about getting kicked in the nuts. Imagine none of them had ever told any… https://t.co/cY9QxSXkEg— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828256
Imagine you went to church and were told that God made girls to want your body, so you should protect your nuts at… https://t.co/3CVQYnXwdo— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828275
One of the strengths of this particular analogy is how deep it goes into the structure of rape culture. How everything from advertising to messages in church enforce the pattern of victim-blaming and shame.
Imagine you found a girlfriend, and you loved each other. One night, you were fooling around and she kicked you as… https://t.co/LfwJfGknqD— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828324
Imagine you told the police, and they asked you what you’d been wearing before she kicked you in the nuts. Asked if… https://t.co/k83oMgLHMh— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828350
Imagine there were laws that said that if a wife kicked her husband in the nuts it wasn’t assault. Imagine you hea… https://t.co/im234hHPqs— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828404
Imagine if one day men all started talking about how almost all of them had, at one point or another, been kicked i… https://t.co/MGmdRLQYoT— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828464
The analogy also shines light on how deeply misguided and emotionally dense it is to be worried about “false accusations” amidst the rancid existence of rape culture. How, if the tables were turned, this concern would feel like such an obvious affront to men’s humanity.
Imagine a woman ran for President. Imagine audio came out of her bragging about making it a regular practice to ki… https://t.co/IeF6LsYN0z— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828516
Imagine she claimed the men accusing her were lying. Imagine she said they were too ugly to kick. Imagine there h… https://t.co/hJej0Bmfu2— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828572
Imagine she supported a Senate candidate known for kicking young boys in the testicles. Imagine she nominated a ju… https://t.co/sK790ivFlr— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828602
Imagine the President mocked the accuser in font of a crowd, and the crowd laughed and clapped. Imagine the judge… https://t.co/TDxCWj76CF— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828708
He doubled down on the analogy when he brought in the issue of forced birth, and how limiting birth control and safe abortion options feed into the brutality of rape culture.
Now imagine that being kicked in the nuts might result in you having to create, in your body, a genetic replication… https://t.co/S5R5QgTzFb— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828738
I can't imagine women's rage today, but this exercise, while abstract, helped me get nearer to it than I'd been. B… https://t.co/jJqwMz3SmA— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538828860
He ended the thread by pointing out how depressing it is that men, or anyone really, need analogies to understand why the past few weeks have been so triggering to women.
By the way it's 100% insane that this issue seems to require an analogy to draw a sharper focus on how wrong our so… https://t.co/ZXyyRNpBvG— A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It (@A.R. Moxon, If You Can Keep It) 1538830491
The thread sparked a lot of impassioned responses from both men and women echoing the trueness of the sentiment.
@JuliusGoat Imagine after all of that, after all the pain and the fear and the trauma and the gaslighting, imagine… https://t.co/JZrizHUgTe— Meimento Mori? (@Meimento Mori?) 1538840009
@JuliusGoat Dear Julius- you made me cry ??— Susan (@Susan) 1538833865
Ooooof. This thread. You need to read it, male or female. https://t.co/7zysxOsq0R— Charles Arthur (@Charles Arthur) 1538856068
@JuliusGoat Thank you so much. This is dead on. For some reason men can’t really imagine that any sexual act is an… https://t.co/nylydEKxoH— Naiad (@Naiad) 1538831577
Hopefully, this in-depth explanation of rape culture will help a few more people understand why this is all so painful and terrifying.