1985 Carl Sagan interview on finding alien life is a perfect metaphor for friendship on Earth

Carl Sagan is widely considered the top expert when it comes to space exploration and study. Among several other accolades and accomplishments, he won a Pulitzer Prize for his bookThe Dragons of Eden, Emmy and Peabody Awards for his television series Cosmos: A Personal Voyage, and NASA’s Distinguished Public Service Medal twice. Yet while his specialty was outer space, his thoughts can apply to people and their relationships.

In a 1985 interview with BBC broadcaster Terry Wogan, Sagan touched on a variety of topics, but the conversation shifted focus primarily on space exploration and making contact with life outside of Earth. Much of what he said about finding and looking for life on other planets can be applied to finding other people on our own planet. Advice and advocacy for investing in outer space are also words to live by for those who feel alone.

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Sagan said of space exploration, “We are an exploratory species. We wish to understand who we are, where we are, what our surroundings are. When you study other worlds you learn much more about your own.”

While Sagan is discussing literal planets, this is applicable to figurative “worlds” as well. Exploring other subcultures, hobbies, and interests of people who are outside of your immediate circle can lead to great revelations. You not only learn different lives and lifestyles that you could “try on” to see if they also benefit you, but you also learn more about what you are into and what makes up you. Going outside your comfort zone either connects you with people you’d otherwise miss out on or lets you know what’s out there that isn’t your flavor. Connection and love is active, and needs to be strived for. Even though Sagan was a pure scientist through and through, he also understood the value of love.

Further along in the interview, Sagan was asked about whether there was life on other planets outside our solar system. While admitting that it would be difficult to find, Sagan said, “The Milky Way Galaxy is composed of 400,000 million separate suns, each of which more or less like our own. We now think that planets are commonplace, that most of those stars probably have planetary systems. We know the origin of life is likely under general cosmic circumstances and there were thousands of millions of years for evolution to happen. Under those circumstances, it seems extraordinarily arrogant of us to think we are the only inhabitants of this cosmos.”

Many lonely people feel isolated in their troubles and can feel like there is no one else who could relate to or understand them. Emotions aside, that’s just not true. You’re not the only inhabitant in your cosmos. Much like life outside of Earth, it can be difficult at times to find a person or group that can relate to your troubles, but statistically that’s a near impossibility. They can be found if properly searched with patience, to ease loneliness and create a community to help you cope, bounce ideas off of, and assist you in processing the trauma you may feel. But sometimes, much like making possible contact outside our planet, it could take patience and continuous, consistent effort.

Even if you cannot find someone who relates to you on one exact level, you may find folks that you relate to on other levels that could become supporters anyway. You never know what you may find if you just take a risk chatting with someone on a park bench.

Speaking of, Sagan’s thoughts on how to communicate and reach out to alien life are applicable for human relationships. In the interview, Sagan suggested to “use a technology that you know well,” which in this case was the radio. He commented on how radio waves could travel through space and then life on other planets could possibly send messages back.

In terms of finding human-to-human communication, the advice isn’t too different. Send a message out there. Fortunately, given the advancements of human technology, the Internet has become a place where you can potentially make global connections through posting on message boards, participating in social media, hopping onto a Discord, and just putting yourself out there to see who sends a message back. Even sending an out-of-the-blue text, email, or call to someone you know that you haven’t communicated with in a while is worth it.

Making a profile on Hinge to find a date might feel like throwing a radio wave into the void, but you’ll never possibly get a response unless you call first. Speaking of, there are even apps to find friends, too, if you want more options for connection. If all this seems too hard, there are professionals that can help you, too.

Finding a connection with someone else might feel like rocket science. However, taking the attitude and philosophy behind one of the greatest planetary scientists and applying it to your social life could reap great rewards.