Heartbroken Andrew Garfield remembers late mom, tells Elmo why it's 'ok to miss somebody'

Men have traditionally been discouraged from showing their emotions because of the notion that it's a sign of weakness. But Andrew Garfield is one of those men who are not scared to be vulnerable about their grief and even channels emotions into his films to cope with the feeling. In a video posted by Sesame Street’s nonprofit called "Sesame Workshop,” the 41-year-old star appears alongside the red muppet Elmo, and talks about grief and vulnerability.

In the clip with more than 14 million views, the muppet tells Garfield, “Elmo’s going around Sesame Street checking in on everybody,” and asks “So, Elmo wants to know how Andrew’s doing?” At first, Garfield said he was doing okay, but then he opened up about how he was missing his mom so much that day.

“She passed away not too long ago, and you know, I just miss her. Miss her a lot,” the Amazing Spider-Man actor said in a heavy voice. To this, Elmo apologized to him, but Andrew said “It’s actually kind of OK to miss somebody.” He added, “That sadness is kind of a gift. It’s kind of a lovely thing to feel, in a way, because it means you really love somebody when you miss them. When I miss my mom, I remember all of the cuddles I used to get from her, all of the hugs I used to get from her. It makes me feel close to her when I miss her in a strange way.” In the end, he shared a sweet secret with the red monster, “You know, Elmo was my mummy’s favorite!” The muppet bobbed his head in excitement.

Shortly before he started filming the 2021 movie “Tick, Tick…Boom,” Andrew lost his mother, Lynn, in 2019 to pancreatic cancer. So while he filmed the movie, his intense grief poured into his character, making the performance more authentic. In his 2024 movie “We Live in Time,” his character wrangles in grief as his partner gets cancer.

His video encouraged X users to share their feelings. “Grief is love with nowhere to go. Andrew’s perspective on his mom is so heartwarming and relatable,” commented @miss__rhodes, while @lupeeexxo said, “When someone we love becomes a memory, those memories become treasures. Andrew’s words capture that perfectly.” Many people, who had lost their own moms, said, Andrew’s message hit them hard. The blue Cookie Monster reacted to the video with a blue heart emoji.

A week before this video came out, Andrew spoke about grieving the loss of his mom in an episode of The New York Times’ “Modern Love” podcast. He confessed that he felt “sad,” but he was not hopeless. “But the sadness is longing. It’s true longing, and there’s no shame in it,” the actor added. “And I can feel myself right now putting the modern conditioning taboo on this very, very pure feeling I’m having and expressing with you. And I find that sad.” He proclaimed that this “longing” is love.

In another recent interview with the Los Angeles Times, he shared that he likes to work on stories that allow him to express his deep emotions, rather than just those on the surface. “I want to offer something true and vulnerable. Because God, I don’t want to get highfalutin in any way, but we’re in trouble right now in our culture,” said Andrew. “There’s a kind of epidemic of meaninglessness permeating the culture in a way that is now undeniable. I don’t want to add to the din of numbness and a kind of toeing the capitalist line.”