A dad on Reddit shared an experience he had in a thread on r/daddit. What happened to him is something that has become a growing trend in recent years. He was showing a picture of his seven-month-old son to a person. She asked the question that many older fathers dread: “Are you his grandpa?”
Fellow older dads empathized with the father, as many of them were also asked that question at one point or another in their life in fatherhood. One would think that fatherhood itself would cause enough stress to induce a few premature gray hairs and wrinkles, but not enough to jump past a whole generation. Many of the older dads offered their takes on how to respond to the “Are you their grandpa?” query.
Many first-time fathers are much older than in previous generations.Photo credit: Canva
“A couple options here, get upset or relish embarrassing the person. I prefer the embarrassment route, say something like ‘I didn't think I looked that old today,’ or ‘Kids really aged me.’”
“Did you ask her to speak up? Maybe whip out the old ear horn.”
“Shoulda said ‘great grandson.’”
The original poster was 41 years old, which does seem to be older to have an infant child compared to usual norms. However, many men have become first-time fathers much later in life compared to previous generations. According to a Bowling Green State University study published in 2023, 11.8% of births in the United States involved at least one parent who was aged 40 or older. Why is that?
Well, it’s a multi-faceted issue. First, many Millennials went through two recessions throughout typical child-bearing years and couldn’t afford to purchase homes big enough for families or progress in their careers to do so either. According to The Guardian, many still cannot afford to have children either due to housing costs or working multiple jobs in which they don’t have the time to parent. A 2024 survey also found that more than 1 in 5 parents of children under 18 said they wouldn’t or couldn’t have another child due to the cost of raising one. A 2024 report from Bloomberg found that child care costs have surpassed the cost of rent for the average American family, too.
People are choosing to have no kids or fewer kids because they simply cannot afford them. The cost of childcare has gone up exponentially over the last 10 to 20 years. On average in the state of Massachusetts it’s about $20,000 a year per child. These rates are unsustainable for most families, which is why more and more people choosing not to have children. Affordable childcare would not only benefit families and children, but it would benefit our economy and society as a whole ##childcare##daycare##daycarelife##childcarecrisis##millennialmom##momsoftiktok##newparents##workingmom
Another reason why there are so many older first-time dads is because there is a growing number of older first-time moms. In 2022, an NBC News report found that the median age of the American mother was 30. This is because many women spent their 20s getting further in their education and careers, hoping to be in a better financial position before pursuing motherhood. Those goals along with a fluctuation in the economy that makes child-rearing more expensive than ever have forced them to put off motherhood until later in life, made accessible through fertility methods like IVF treatment.
So if you’re an older dad, you’re definitely part of a growing trend. However, some older dads might be wondering how to “keep up” with their kids since they’re not in their spry 20s and 30s anymore. While there may be limitations, there is no reason why you can’t experience and have a quality relationship with your child as they grow and you age.
In terms of general bonding, this is where age is just a number. Whether you are 20, 40, or 70, you can still bond with your child through reading to them, bathing them, feeding them, and just being there for general care. Take them on walks, watch television shows you both enjoy, and introduce them to your hobbies that are easier on the knees. As they grow older, you can still play catch and do other physical activities with them, but if it becomes too taxing still encourage them as their “cheerleader” from the sidelines at games rather than a “coach” at home.
Staying active now could help stay active as you and your child age.Photo credit: Canva
As a general rule many older parents agree that it’s important that they stay healthy in order to stay as energetic as they can and to live to see their kids grow old enough to give them grandchildren. This means being mindful of your diet, exercising regularly, and following your physician’s recommendations to the best of your ability. This way you can still keep up with your kids for a few extra years on the basketball court while also teaching them how to live a healthy lifestyle through your example. You can also chat with other older parents online or in person for advice on how to parent effectively at an older age.
So if you have some gray in your hair while boiling a bottle, don’t stress. You’re definitely not alone.
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Archivo:Jackie-shane.jpg - Wikipedia, la enciclopedia libre
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but that talk don’t bother me,” Jackie Shane sang on her 1963 cover single “Sticks and Stones.” In some ways, the words would define aspects of Shane’s life as she became an early transgender R&B icon. By the time she had over a decade of music industry prowess under her belt, however, she mysteriously disappeared from the public eye in 1971.
Almost 50 years after that, in 2017, she reappeared with an anthology of her work named after another 1963 hit, Any Other Way–it was then nominated for a Grammy for Best Historical Album, an award that’s not given to an artist but to an album’s production team. At that point, she gave one of her first interviews in decades to the Associated Press, which in part explained her absence but also cemented her as an influential musical pioneer.
Born in Nashville, Tennessee in 1940, Shane knew she was trans as a young child, and grew up with a supportive mother and community. Most of the ire she did experience came from growing up in the Jim Crow South, and she sought to skip town as soon as she could. This led her north eventually, but not before she got involved in Nashville’s mighty music scene as a session and touring drummer for the likes of R&B great Jackie Wilson. Not only that, AP reported, she had known the venerable Little Richard since childhood and met Jimi Hendrix while he was playing music in the city.
After Nashville, Shane eventually made her way to Toronto where she’d become a star and contribute to what became known as the “Toronto Sound,” which developed in the city’s fresh R&B scene. She had, according to NBC News, a successful career as a singer that reached one of many peaks with the success of the single “Any Other Way,” which rose to the second spot on Canada’s Pop charts. She also appeared on Nashville’s live music program “Night Train” in 1965. “Her enigmatic presentation, her undeniable talent, and the support of the music community allowed her to flourish in Toronto,” wrote AllMusic.com’s Timothy Monger. “No one in 1960s Canada had seen or heard anything like Shane.”
Wherever she went, Shane also appeared as herself–eyes darkened with liner into cat eyes, sequins, chic suits, and claimed to have brought some 20 trunks with her when she traveled. Many thought she was a lesbian, she said. As is often noted, this was a time when many people wouldn’t have known what “transgender” meant, as AP writes, and being a gender nonconforming person in the public eye was practically unheard of. Jackie was resolutely herself anyway.
Shortly after “Night Train,” The Ed Sullivan Show came calling, but to appear they said she’d have to dress as a man. “‘I said: ‘Please stuff it,’” she said, as The Guardian reported in 2019. “Ed Sullivan looks like something Dr Frankenstein had a hand in. He’s going to tell me what to do?”
And while Shane recorded at least enough music to eventually produce that 2017 anthology, she said recording was mostly not her biggest interest–she turned down offers from acclaimed studios like Motown and Atlantic, and even an offer to record with George Clinton–and many of her songs were recorded in front of a live audience, The Guardian shared. You can still listen to them on YouTube and Spotify.
By 1971, however, the pressure of making music started to get to Shane and felt her mother needed her. She left her beloved Toronto for Nashville, almost without a trace. Some even thought she had been murdered. She was found again, at least as far as the public eye was concerned, in 2014. Numero Group, known for their archival releases, sought Shane out, asking to re-release her work, and she eventually consented. The rest of the world would follow. Unfortunately, Shane wasn’t able to perform live again after the album’s release, the Guardian shared. She passed away in 2019, but her legacy lives on.
Not only does Shane regularly appear as the subject of numerous podcasts, articles, and short documentaries, she was also the subject of a 2024 documentary feature named after her most famous song, Any Other Way: The Jackie Shane Story, which was co-produced by Elliot Page. It was an official selection for the Toronto International Film Festival and DOC NYC, and a winner of the Best Documentary at the OUTShine LGBTQ+ Film Festival, among other accolades. As of 2024, there’s also a historical marker in Nashville, designating the location of Shane’s musical beginnings. This is in addition to a preexisting plaque in Toronto as of 2023 at the site of Shane’s live album recording.
Jackie Shane was powerfully and unapologetically herself as a transgender woman in a time when doing so was rare and could even be dangerous. It’s because of people like her that we have an understanding of the longstanding role of transgender Americans throughout the country’s history and Canada’s history, a history that can’t and won’t be erased.
A recent study shows that people who daydream while they're awake tend to have better recall of their sleeping dreams. In the article, "Why Some People Remember Their Dreams (and Others Don’t)" on Studyfinds.org, the author shares that research conducted at the IMT School for Advanced Studies Lucca reveals the three main factors that predict how strong dream recall will be: "A person’s general attitude toward dreaming, their tendency to let their mind wander during waking hours, and their typical sleep patterns."
Dreaming has always been an intriguing subject. Nearly every night, when most of us go to sleep, our minds just make us little movies and then push play. There are seemingly no editors. Why do we dream? How do we dream? Obviously, biochemically, we're cycling through REM/deep sleep, and neurons are firing. But how often do we think about the fact that our surroundings affect our dreams?
Certified sleep coach Sarah Anderson shares in the blog, The Most Common Dream in Every Country, "Morning Life was curious about which dreams were most common in different countries around the world. So, we analyzed Google search data to see which dream symbols every country is searching for. And then we looked at what the most common dreams might mean."
Have you dreamt of your teeth falling out?pxhere.com
In the US and UK (and many other countries), crumbling teeth were the most common dream people Googled. Anderson added, "Both countries share snake dreams at number two. However, among terrifying snakes and spiders, the US dreams of ex-partners at number three—while Brits dream of hair."
It should also be noted that if we're doing top ten lists, the charts showed that "while Americans dream of vacations, bears, and being chased, Brits have pregnancy, birth, and fire on their (subconscious) mind."
Not everyone has recurring nightmares. A few lucky residents of the world list much more positive common dreams in their number one spot. Bhutan, for example, has rainbows at the top of the list, while many in Ghana and Nigeria often report dreaming of sex.
In some places, like France and Japan, people might have more complicated dreams about their exes. (Who knows, this could also involve rainbows and sex.)
And the most common recurring dream according to the study is: snakes! Out of all the countries surveyed, 52 out of 147 had snakes at the top of their dream/nightmare lists. Anderson continued, "Snake dreams are particularly ‘popular’ across Eastern Europe and parts of Asia and Africa. The snake lends itself to symbolic interpretation, but in the case of some snake-inhabited localities, sometimes a snake is just a snake."
Personally, my most common recurring dream is this: I'm back in high school, and it's the day of the "big exam." I'm circling the hallways but can't remember where my class is. I CAN, however, remember that I completely forgot to study. I have this dream about once a month, and in it, I never do find that class.
For hundreds of years, historians and archaeologists believed that Mesopotamia (nearly 3800 BC) was the cradle of civilization. But in the past few years, this belief began to dwindle. In the 1960s, a Russian topographer was going through some aerial photographs of Ukraine when he noticed some unusual shadows materializing on the grounds of Kyiv city.
Curious, he magnified the photos and was flabbergasted, as many more concentric circles of these shadows emerged. Further examination revealed that the shadows were cast from unknown archaeological remains that lay buried in the soil. ScienceNews reports that when archaeologists studied these remains, they proposed that the first cities of humanity were built in Ukraine, not Mesopotamia (what is now Iraq). The secret hid in the Trypillia megasites, the forgotten city that mysteriously disappeared.
Previously, scientists believed that the world’s earliest cities like Uruk, Çatalhöyük, and Jericho, were located in Mesopotamia, or modern-day Iraq. But investigation of the Neolithic Cucuteni-Trypillia culture in present-day Ukraine revealed that some of the oldest cities dating back to around 4000 BC are situated here. Given the meticulous planning that the 6,000-year-old remnants of these settlements depicted, archaeologists deduced that these ancient people must have been brilliant urban town planners.
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During the initial discovery, Russian topographer Konstantin Shishkin had spotted evidence of almost 250 shadows looming over an area of 741 acres, reported ScienceNews. But at that time, he lacked advanced technology to carry on the investigation. It wasn’t until 1971 that these shadows were brought to light again. In 1971, some Ukrainian scientists examined the underground archaeological structures using geomagnetic technology that scans the underground realm to identify structures by tracking differences in Earth’s magnetic field at various spots.
In 2011, archaeologist Johannes Müller from the University of Kiel in Germany returned to the Trypillia site once again, and thoroughly examined the underground structures using geomagnetics and high-quality imaging technology. The structures spread out in concentric circles and streets are organized in grid-like patterns. These patterns were studied across three ancient cities: Maidanezke, Taljanki, and Nebelivka. “The architecture is reminiscent of Lego, it was a modular system,” Müller told the Swiss publication Neue Zürcher Zeitung. These low-density cities were referred to as “megasites,” according to ScienceNews.
Some of the houses dwelling in these cities were deliberately burned down. In Nebelivka, for example, people used wood to do ceremonial house burnings. “Burning a house down in this way created a spectacle that could be seen from many kilometers away,” archaeologist John Chapman of Durham University in England, told Science News.
The remnants of graves and burned houses also made scientists wonder about what kind of funerary practices and death rituals these ancient Trypillia people used to have. “Individual graves are something with which the group of burying people represents their role to others. This reflection of social structures does not exist here,” Müller stated. However, “If there are no graves marked in an archaeologist-friendly way, that does not mean that a cult of the dead did not exist.”
Now, the next challenge for archaeologists is to dig out some information about how these Trypillia cities were formed and how they disappeared mysteriously. Their study isn’t finished yet, and they will scour more details about these ancient civilizations that have seemingly collapsed Mesopotamia’s centuries-old title of being the most ancient city.
This article originally appeared last year.
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Underwater ruins of ancient temple building. (Representative cover image: Getty Images
Off the western coast of Italy, the Gulf of Pozzuoli in the Tyrrhenian Sea is an underwater museum of ancient ruins, submerged baths, and even remnants of a forgotten city. Its stunning emerald waters, where Roman emperors once bathed, are now home to dolphins and schools of sperm whales gliding through the historic depths. In 2023, archaeologists diving into these waters stumbled upon what appeared to be the remains of a 2,000-year-old Nabataean temple—a site with architectural echoes featured in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, according to Live Science. Their findings were officially published in Antiquity in September 2024.
This remarkable discovery came through a collaboration between Italy's Ministry of Culture and the University of Campania as part of the “Between Land and Sea” project. This initiative aims to uncover the rich archaeological heritage hidden along the Phlegraean coast, a region marked by ongoing volcanic activity and geological shifts. These underwater ruins offer an extraordinary window into ancient Rome's daily life, commerce, and culture, preserving layers of history within the tranquil yet tectonically active Gulf of Pozzuoli.
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During the Augustan era (31 B.C. – 14 A.D.), this region was one of the most important ports on the Mediterranean trade network. The bustling district boasted a rich urban landscape dotted with warehouses where merchants stored grains. This temple, however, was filled with concrete and broken pottery soon after it was constructed, probably due to foreign traders leaving the area.
"For me, this was one of the most unexpected discoveries," the study's lead author Michele Stefanile, told Live Science. The temple was discovered through aerial photogrammetry conducted in the region in 2022. Inside the temple, the researchers found two rooms bordered by walls of “opus reticulatum,” an ancient Roman construction consisting of small blocks of volcanic tuff arranged in a net-like pattern.
In one room, two altars of white marble leaned against a wall with several rectangular recesses, that once housed “anepigraphic betyls,” sacred stones that Nabataeans used for worship. Each room also revealed a marble slab featuring the Latin inscription "Dusari sacrum," meaning "consecrated to Dushara," the main god in the ancient Nabataean religion. "It seems that we have a building dedicated to the Nabataean gods, but with Roman architecture and Latin inscription," Stefanile said.
According to the study authors, “The existence of a Nabataean sanctuary within the port area confirms that there was a community from that region participating in the commercial activities of Puteoli.” Between the fourth to second centuries B.C., the Nabataean Kingdom was in its golden age, where prosperous merchants traded in luxury goods such as incense, gold, ivory, and perfumes.
Nabataea experienced its decline in 106 CE when Emperor Trajan created the province of Arabia Petraea, affecting the independence of Nabataeans with his conquest. In the early 2nd century BC, this temple was clogged with concrete powder and was considered forgotten, until these archaeologists dug it up. The presence of amphorae discovered in the submerged temple is evidence of this. This event not only marked the decline of the Nabataean kingdom but also brought down its formerly flourishing trade network.
Childhood sweethearts finding their way back to each other after decades apart sounds like something out of a fairytale, but sometimes, real life has plans even more poetic. That seemed to be the case for Lauren and Brooks, who went their separate ways in February 2015. But during a flight to Oklahoma, Brooks felt a shift—he realized that Lauren was truly the love of his life and decided he was going to marry her.
And marry her he did. Recently, to mark their third wedding anniversary, Lauren shared a touching clip from their wedding ceremony on her Instagram page. In the video, Brooks tells her about the moment on that flight when he wrote a heartfelt love confession, acknowledging how much she meant to him. The video was taken during a beautifully orchestrated day that included a bachelorette party, a rehearsal dinner, and a garden pizza party, all leading up to the church ceremony where they exchanged vows. In her blog, Lauren shares that in that moment, surrounded by loved ones and the church’s priest, Brooks recalled how that flight had changed everything for him.
“So there I was, sitting at the airport, upset, fighting tears,” he said on the microphone. “But despite our current situation, I knew we would be together. Sitting there in that moment, on my plane ticket I wrote, I’m going to marry that woman.” The groom then slipped out the old ticket from his coat’s pocket and handed it to Lauren. The priest looked at the ticket and read the note for the guests, “On the ticket, it says, I am going to marry that woman with a little smiley face. There’s a little heart too.” Continuing his speech, Brooks said, “A few years, countless memories later, here we are.”
Calling her childhood sweetheart and husband “the most thoughtful human,” Lauren wrote in the post, “It’s the love in my life that keeps me going.” The video has been viewed by more than 9.7 million people ever since it was shared. “The kind of man every woman deserves,” @fabulousjudy_ commented on the wholesome clip, while @tmcconnell74 said, “I still believe in love because of you nice people sharing your stories.” Reflecting on the couple’s story, @realmeyure added, “When you genuinely want to work things with another person, you literally move mountains, aka you would literally do anything to be with that person.”
In the blog post, Lauren described that she and Brooks organized their wedding in the Southern California area where most of their guests lived. They opted for a sustainable wedding, to minimize the waste that is typically generated during weddings. They also skipped the traditional “save the date” invites and chose vintage postcards with QR codes printed on them for the guests. “A wedding is a time to publicly declare how much you love your partner, invite your beloved community into that experience, eat your favorite foods, drink your favorite drinks, dance your butt off, and have a blast,” Lauren wrote, describing how the couple marked everything off their checklist.
Khari Arnold is just a dad in Atlanta that wanted to bond with his baby daughter and instill a love of reading into her. After a year of taking his daughter to the library and reading to her aloud, he posted a reel on Instagram to recap his weekly trips. He wanted his fellow fathers in the community to share this joy, so he stepped up to create Library Dads.
Library Dads is a community of Atlanta fathers that get together on weekends twice a month to take their children to the library. At these “Library Link-Ups” the dads get to bond with their children and participate in read-aloud story time. It’s not only a bonding experience from father to child and a promotion of literacy, but a “brotherhood” of dads looking for community and friendship.
“One of our favorite sayings is, ‘It’s one thing to have men in your circle, it’s another thing to have men in your corner,’ said Arnold. Arnold wanted to foster a group of dads that can teach, learn, and encourage one another in their paths in fatherhood on top of providing a spot for their children to read and grow.
Illiteracy is a pressing issue in the United States, and not just for children. According to a 2022–2023 study conducted by the National Literacy Institute, 130 million adults are unable to read a simple story to their children. Along with that, approximately 50% of adults read so poorly that they cannot achieve simple tasks such as reading the label on their prescription drugs.
When it comes to kids, 40% of students throughout the United States are unable to read at a basic level. Young students in elementary school that struggle with reading are shown to have several emotional, social, and societal struggles compared to kids that are literate within their age range or higher.
Communities like Library Dads present an opportunity for both children and adults to get more involved with reading to offset those issues. It also provides a great social space for dads to make friends with fellow dads to help them find kinship in men that aren’t family members nor friends that don’t have children.
You can be a part of a group of reading dads, too!Photo credit: @thelibrarydads
Arnold’s hope is for Library Dads to open chapters throughout the country, spreading this idea around to help fathers with their kids, along with addressing those literacy issues. However, you don’t have to wait for him.
If you want you can start your own dad or parent reading group trip to your local library. Create a group on Facebook, post a date on a community cork board, and chat with your local library for resources to make a group like Library Dads in your area. If not the library, grab some children’s books and meet up at a local state park near picnic tables or at a community center to foster a group.
Illiteracy may seem like a personal issue for a parent or a child, but it’s a community problem that can be resolved if enough people gather together to help and encourage one another.
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Ivy Mix and Lynnette Marrero, renowned bartenders and co-founders of Speed Rack, an all-female and femme speed bartending competition.
“We have no women bartenders, where are all the women?” Lynnette Marrero remembered.
The decorated bartender and mixologist worked a cocktail festival many years ago where some 30 women put it together behind the scenes. But when it came time for a film crew to record female bartenders, they were at a loss. She didn’t want it to happen again and neither did fellow renowned bartender Ivy Mix. “It was an a-ha moment, of what can we do to showcase these women?”
Their answer became Speed Rack, the world’s first and only all-female and femme speed bartending competition–a speed rack is also part of a bar to place liquor for quick handling. Now in its thirteenth year, Speed Rack, featuring “Women shaking up the cocktail world,” is part of a larger movement ensuring nobody else wonders where the female bartenders are: they’re right there behind the bar. Marrero and Mix had witnessed too many women and femme identified individuals not getting the credit they deserved or not being able to break through into craft cocktails. Speed Rack became a way to help change that. “It was just about creating a platform and a pedestal for these women to be seen doing what they do every day,” Marrero says. Plus, all proceeds from every Speed Rack event support charities dedicated to breast cancer research like The Pink Agenda. Since it began, Speed Rack has raised over two million dollars for these organizations.
Competitors Sam Smagala, of the bar Joyface, and Miranda Midler, Head Bartender of Dear Irving's Broadway location, shake it off before Round 1 begins. Elyssa Goodman
On February 17 2025, the eight top bartenders in New York’s regional Speed Rack competition arrived at Melrose Ballroom in Queens for the city’s regional finals. By that point, the field had already been narrowed from some 85 online applications with video submissions to a preliminary competition of 20-25 to tonight’s eight participants. They came from across the city’s cocktail bars–Mister Paradise, The Crane Club, The Portrait Bar, and others–and had to be working at least four shifts a week to qualify.
In a round-robin, bracket-style competition, participants will have to make four perfect cocktails in a matter of minutes–it’s a competition that’s ultimately about speed and accuracy. The drinks will then be delivered to the judges, who will deliberate and give feedback–errors will add time to a competitor’s score. The winner of each round proceeds until there are only two left and a winner is chosen.
The winner will proceed to the National Finals in July at the annual Tales of the Cocktail conference, this year in New Orleans. There, winners from events in Chicago, Denver, Portland, OR, Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico will join her, as will winners from Fast Track competitions in Nashville, San Francisco, Houston, Louisville, and Orlando. By the time finalists get to Nationals, they’ll have been training for at least two months, selected for teams sponsored by some of the biggest alcohol brands in the world.
Competitor Hope Rice of The Crane Club finishes up the final cocktail of her round, an Old Cuban, with a pour of G.H.Mumm Champagne. The Old Cuban is a drink created by legendary bartender Audrey Saunders. Elyssa Goodman
At Nationals, between 16-18 people will compete for a scholarship to the Beverage Alcohol Resource’s 5-Day Program, featuring an opportunity for certification with the “Curriculum for the World’s Most Comprehensive Distilled Spirits & Mixology” held at once a year at the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York, not to mention countless brand and networking opportunities. Marrero says that Mix usually speaks to contestants beforehand and reminds them that “everyone knows you competed.This is a job interview, so go out there and network, do your best, because whether you're the winner or not, there's opportunities that come from this.” Later this year, Speed Rack will also return to Canada and Australia.
Speed Rack becomes not just a way to bring awareness to the gender gap in bartending and the beverage industry, it’s how the gap starts to close. Build a community, reward people for doing a good job, and give them the resources to continue pursuing their education in the field. So it’s fitting that even before the audience starts to arrive at Melrose Ballroom, there’s something electric happening. What’s at stake is not just about cocktails.The venue’s two floors will eventually fill up entirely, and over $14,000 will go to charity. The hot pink fireballs of Speed Rack’s logo and matching pink lights cast a glow across the venue, where sponsors of the event, including brands like Cointreau and Patron, among many others, have set up booths and started mixing cocktails of their own for guests. It’ll be a night full of industry folks, though anyone is welcome to attend.
Competitor Ileana Hernandez just before her round begins. Ileana works at Greenwich Village restaurant Llama San.Elyssa Goodman
Contestants start to mill about the space–they’ve dotted their faces with pink glitter, tied hot pink Speed Rack bandanas around their necks, spotted clothing with pink rhinestones, painted on thick cat eye liner, donned olive cocktail rings, and more. Hugs are thrown with abandon.
“We have so many fresh new faces, I just wanna let y’all know drinking culture in New York is in great hands,” Marrero says, to uproarious applause as she and Mix begin the event. With volunteer barbacks, the first contestants prepare their stations. Ice fills glassware, and sponsors’ bottles are lined up behind the bars for easy access. The host tonight is Vance Henderson, lauded National Brand Ambassador for Hendricks Gin, decked out in hot pink sunglasses and a matching feather boa. He introduces the judges, who are also deeply respected in the beverage industry: Ignacio “Nacho" Jimenez, Operating Partner of cocktail bar Superbueno; Iain Griffiths, co-founder of Bar Snack; Charlotte Voisey, Tales of the Cocktail’s Executive Director; and Amy Racine, Beverage Director and Partner of JF Restaurants.
Full of friends and industry professionals, the audience cheers for the annual New York Regional Speed Rack competition. Elyssa Goodman
I feel jitters just hearing their credentials, but it’s part of the bartenders’ presentation tonight to remain calm and poised. The event, Marrero says later, “showcases what happens on a Friday night, Saturday night, when you're in a craft cocktail bar and you're working service, and then four cocktail luminaries walk in and ask for a round, and you have to make that round perfectly, beautifully and fast, really fast.” The drinks must be “balanced, look beautiful and be made with grace behind the bars,” Speed Rack says in its competition notes. The event is intense–the opportunities it gives participants could really change their lives if they want it to–but the mood remains high: Henderson introduces each contestant not unlike fighters in a boxing match, and volunteer barbacks, also industry people, are personal hype folks throughout the night, waving fans and cheering on participants.
With each round, contestants will be given four classic cocktails to produce, one selected by each judge, and the round will be over in a matter of minutes–never longer than five, and even four would be pushing it. The bartenders become a choreography of shaking and stirring and pouring and tasting (and, at least once, egg separating) and when they’ve finished all four beverages, they slap a buzzer to stop their clock. Bensonhurst, Suffering Bastard, Whiskey Sour, Cosmopolitan, Nippon and other cocktails course over the bar through the evening, and soon the judges weigh in. Was it perfect? Too much tequila? Too herbaceous? Was the garnish placed appropriately? Did the drink need to be more diluted? While they wait for final scores, bartenders high five friends like they’re autographing headshots at a movie premiere, they pour shots into mouths, they can’t believe they did it again. With final scores, the winners advance.
As the night goes on, more and more people push toward the front. People cheer on their friends, bang on the stage, a flamboyant chorus of “WOOOOOOO” and “GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!” and the girl next to me who looks a contestant dead in the eyes and says “Rachel, you’re a bad bitch. BAD. BITCHES. ONLY,” with a half-empty cocktail in her hand.
Competitor Rachel Prucha, of Mister Paradise and Hawksmoor, ready to take on her round.Elyssa Goodman
The music gets louder. In the last round, the finalists are indeed the aforementioned Rachel, Prucha of Mister Paradise and Hawksmoor, and Lana Epstein of The Portrait Bar. Taking their places behind the bar, all they have to do now is make four perfect cocktails while a few hundred of their closest friends and industry professionals scream and chant and applaud. It’s another dance, of whiskey and raspberries and straws and tonic and ice and god knows what else, into jiggers, into shakers, into mixing glasses, until that buzzer is banged for the last time and the cocktails are out, in front of the judges. The deliberation feels endless. It’s some four hours from when we started and nerves are askew. More shots! More cheering! Lana, Lana! Rachel, Rachel!
Lana wins, and then something amazing happens–a swirl of friends and bartenders who competed rush the stage to cheer her on, her name chanting from their lips as they embrace her in a giant hug and pink petals fall from the ceiling. People put her on their shoulders, they take pictures, they pour bubbly into her mouth like it’s the Super Bowl. The joy is genuine, and to me it’s the most moving part of the evening because it’s ultimately what Speed Rack is actually about: women supporting women.
Bartender Lana Epstein, of The Portrait Bar, wins Speed Rack's New York Regional competition. Friends and fellow competitors raise her up and offer bubbly to celebrate. Elyssa Goodman
“The community vibe of, ‘it's not just one of us, it's all of us,’ is really important,” Marrero says. She believes Speed Rack can keep regenerating itself because it really is an event for the community. There’s an understanding that the platform represents inclusivity, she continues, giving basic training to everyone and sharing foundational knowledge, and this helps people move up in the industry and continue sharing.
Marrero doesn’t remember a lot of men helping her with this when she started–it was women. She hopes in the future there will be even more women and femme identified individuals in ownership, partnership, and leadership positions throughout the beverage industry. While she says many people come to the industry for a flexible work life as they pursue an artistic endeavor, she already sees Speed Rack’s impact making space for the next generation. “The future is in, the more people that we continue to recruit to stay in the industry,” she says. “The rest of us can then go on to get funding, open places, and give those folks a spot to grow and and really, light the world on fire one cocktail at a time.”
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Competitors Sam Smagala, of the bar Joyface, and Miranda Midler, Head Bartender of Dear Irving's Broadway location, shake it off before Round 1 begins. Elyssa Goodman
Competitor Hope Rice of The Crane Club finishes up the final cocktail of her round, an Old Cuban, with a pour of G.H.Mumm Champagne. The Old Cuban is a drink created by legendary bartender Audrey Saunders. Elyssa Goodman
Competitor Ileana Hernandez just before her round begins. Ileana works at Greenwich Village restaurant Llama San.Elyssa Goodman
Full of friends and industry professionals, the audience cheers for the annual New York Regional Speed Rack competition. Elyssa Goodman
Competitor Rachel Prucha, of Mister Paradise and Hawksmoor, ready to take on her round.Elyssa Goodman
Bartender Lana Epstein, of The Portrait Bar, wins Speed Rack's New York Regional competition. Friends and fellow competitors raise her up and offer bubbly to celebrate. Elyssa Goodman
