Losing touch with your friends? Try this amazing 8-minute phone call challenge backed by happiness experts

Life’s circumstances can sometimes drive friends apart, but in tough times, all anyone really needs is a friend who listens without judgment. While no one can fully pull another out of their suffering, simply sitting with them, sharing a cup of tea, and reminding them that it’s okay to feel bad can make all the difference. In May 2024, inspirational speaker Simon Sinek (@SimonSinek) shared a powerful challenge in a short clip: the 8-minute phone call challenge, designed to reconnect with friends who are struggling or who have drifted away.

On his website, Simon describes himself as an “unshakable optimist,” “keynote speaker,” “leader,” and “visionary thinker,” best known for his TED Talk on the concept of “WHY.” He is the author of the global bestseller “Start with WHY” and New York Times bestsellers “Leaders Eat Last” and “The Infinite Game.” This short clip is a segment from a video by ServiceNow, in which Simon appeared in conversation with Vanessa Smith in January 2024.

The video opens with Simon relating the story of one of his dear friends who was going through a hard time. “I have a dear dear friend who was going through a very hard time and she was telling me about this awful time she went through.” At this moment, he said, he wanted to be sympathetic to her, but he was really pissed off thinking why didn’t she call him.

“I was like, ‘I’m here. I love you. I support you. You’re always there for me. Why wouldn’t you let me be there for you? How selfish are you, like you wouldn’t let me be there for you,’” he recalled, and continued speaking, “She says to me, ‘I did. I reached out to you a number of times.’” He said he then checked his phone. There was a text message that read, “Want to come over?” Reading the text, Simon shook his head. “And I’m like, how the hell do I know that that’s a cry for help versus every other time you ask me over which sounds exactly the same,” Simon described in the video. He continued the interview by saying that his friend had read an article that said, “When somebody’s struggling, all they need is 8 minutes of help or support from a friend to get them back on track.”

So, he and his friend came up with an idea. “And so we came up with a code. We write to each other, ‘Do you have 8 minutes?’ It means ‘I need you.’ And anybody can step out of a meeting for 8 minutes to be there for a friend,” he said, concluding the video. Simon, it seems, is an avid follower of this “8-minute phone call challenge,” for he also spoke about the same in another video dated February 2024, in which he spoke to his best friend Christina Tosi, the founder of “Milk Bar.”

Generally, the 8-minute phone call challenge is a popular idea that many happiness experts recommend and apply. The challenge was also a part of the New York Times newsletter’s “7-day happiness challenge” which offered exercises for people to do to reach out to people they had lost touch with. According to the New York Times article, the 8-minute phone call challenge was introduced by Dr. Bob Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the author of the new book “The Good Life: Lessons From the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness.”

The writer of this article and NYT columnist, Jancee Dunn, told MSNBC, in a joint interview with Waldinger, that, “even the busiest of my friends can take out 8 minutes.” Plus, she added, “You get right to the business. There is no opening chit-chat. I’ve solved problems. I’ve discussed whatever issues I am having. It’s a great way of action because it’s doable.”

Reflecting on how this simple challenge is so powerful, Waldinger said, “If we turned to each other, if we worked on our relationships, actively with little-little activities, like sending a text, sending an email, picking up the phone, if we do that we get little hits of well-being that make us feel better.”