The speech also has a hilarious part about hot dogs and ham, and what's inside them.
From the writing rooms of the Comcast Building at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, a gang of impish scriptwriters has produced 969 episodes of the late-night comedy sketch, Saturday Night Live (SNL). On September 28, 2024, as the show rolled out its 50th season, comedian Nate Bargatze made a re-appearance in the familiar role of George Washington. His speech titled "Washington Dream 2," was a witty take about the American dream of “doing our own thing with the English language.”
Being toasted as the “best skit in years,” this sketch was a follow-up to Season 49’s “Washington’s Dream” in which Bargatze talked about the absurd metric system. Peppered with hot-button comedy and a parody on the tectonic shifts in the English language, the sketch is being lauded for its fresh humor, portrayed by the actors Bowen Yang, Mikey Day, Kenan Thompson, James Austin Johnson, and Bargatze who is now going viral for his brilliant enactment.
As the sketch opens, the cast is seen paddling their oars through the Delaware River in 1776 with an American flag attached to the boat. When one soldier shares his thoughts about thousands of British troops awaiting them on the other side, the other asks, if was there a chance they could win the war. That’s when Bargatze entersthe scene, dusting his waistcoat, and barging in with an “Of course.” The soldier apologizes, to which Bargatze says, “No need, I am fearful as well. But we will live through the battle ahead, because we fight to control our own destiny, to create our own nation. And to do our own thing with the English language.” Another soldier asks, “Our own thing Sir?”
He nods sternly and starts his glorious speech. “I dream that one day, our great nation will have a word for the ‘number 12,’” he declars before adding, “We shall call it a ‘dozen.’” As for other numbers having their own words, he said, there was “none.” “Only 12 shall have its own word because we are freemen,” Bargatze announces that there will be two words to spell a name from now on. For instance, there will be two ways to spell Jeff; “a short way with the J and a stupid way with the G.” Another soldier questions whether these liberties are valid for men of color too. In an almost riotous moment, Bargatze, a.k.a. Washington pats his shoulders, blatantly ignores his question, and continues giving the speech.
“We will also have two names for animals,” he declares, “One when they are alive, and a different one when they become food.” He explains, “Cows will be beef, pigs will be pork.” A man interrupts, “And chicken, Sir?” Bargatze replies, “That one stays. Chickens are chicken.” He goes on to say that they would create their own foods and name them what they would like them to, citing the example of a hamburger. A soldier asks, “Made of ham, Sir?” Bargatze let out a grinning chuckle, and says, “If only it were that simple. [Pause] A hamburger is made of beef just as a buffalo wing is made of chicken. But fear not, men. A hot dog will not be made of dogs.”
“What is it made of Sir?” A soldier asks. “Nobody knows,” he replies.
Washington sits down and continues speaking. “A real American would never want to know what’s in a hot dog, just as they will never know our money is called the dollar.” He also calls for his portrait to be printed on the front side of a dollar note, while the back side would contain “everything” and “crazy stuff” like squiggles, Latin words, “pyramid with a floating eye on top,” etc.
Washington declares that he would create schools that would teach children “our ways.” He adds that there will be 12 grades, but they won't be called “a dozen grades.” he then concludes the wild speech by saying, “These are my dreams, men. We fight this war to free the English language and free the American people.”
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