The Chicago Cubs and the Cleveland Indians face off in the 2016 World Series, which began Tuesday in Cleveland with an Indians win in Game 1. The Cubs haven’t been to a World Series since the early days of the Truman Administration and haven’t won it all in something like 637 years. The Indians, meanwhile, appeared in the series as recently as 1997, but haven’t won since the ’40s.
Barring some sort of divine intervention, tear in the space-time continuum, or total obliteration of our planet due to a power failure in the computer lab of the alien running the humanity simulation—all of which seem almost as likely as one of these teams actually winning a World Series—at least one extended sports drought will end and one long-suffering fan base will rejoice.
Really, both teams present varying degrees of feel-good, underdog stories. It’s easy to root for either, but for non-baseball fans, perhaps hard to choose.
We’re here to help.
There is plenty of between-the-lines analysis of this best-of-7 series, so let’s look at some other key factors to consider when picking a winner:
TEAM NICKNAME
Chicago: Cubs
Cleveland: Indians
Edge: Tie. It’s hard not to adore a cute little bear, and it’s equally as challenging to feel all that great about the “Indian” nickname, but in an honest fight between the two, the cubbie might be in trouble.
SPORTS GOAT
Chicago: Steve Bartman—and, you know, an actual goat
Cleveland: Art Modelland LeBron James
Edge: Chicago. (C’mon, it’s a goat!)
SPORTS CURSE
Chicago: See aforementioned goat
Cleveland: The Curse of Rocky Colavito
Edge: Chicago. The goat curse is among the GOAT curses. And while the Colavito curse is baseball specific, Cleveland also suffered from the “Cleveland Curse,” pertaining to Cleveland sports as a whole. Then came LeBron James. Well, he came, then he left. But he came back.
HOME STADIUMS
Chicago: Wrigley Field
Cleveland: Progressive Field
Edge: Chicago. The former “Jake by the Lake” in Cleveland is great, but it ain’t Wrigley. And being named after chewing gum is cooler than taking your name from an insurance company. Plus, Wrigley’s got ivy!
FOOD
Chicago: Deep-dish pizza, sausages, Italian beef, Cracker Jack, Chicago-style hot dog
Cleveland: Polish Boy sandwich, pierogies, chili, ribs, pork chops
Edge: New York. Better pizza. Though finding a surprise in your Cracker Jacks is far preferable to finding one in any of these other food options.
CULTURAL SPOTS
Chicago: Millennium Park, the Art Institute of Chicago, Wrigley Field, The Field Museum, Navy Pier, Willis Tower, Adler Planetarium
Cleveland: Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Cleveland Museum of Art, West Side Market, Progressive Field, Lake View Cemetery, USS Cod Submarine Memorial, Cleveland Botanical Garden
Edge: Tie (largely thanks to the wise words of Alan Freed)
BANDS/MUSICIANS
Chicago: Kanye West, Smashing Pumpkins, Chicago, Sam Cooke, Jennifer Hudson, Muddy Waters, Earth, Wind & Fire, Wilco
Cleveland: The Pretenders, Nine Inch Nails, Joe Walsh, The O’Jays, Dean Martin, The James Gang, Tracy Chapman, Jim Brickman
Edge: Cleveland. Chicago loses points for Kanye, and Joe Walsh is just that cool. Plus, rock and roll!
NOTABLE CELEBRITIES
Chicago: Oprah, Harrison Ford, Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Robin Williams, Mr. T, Ernest Hemingway, Al Capone
Cleveland: Paul Newman, Bob Hope, Halle Berry, Dean Martin, Tom Hanks, Toni Morrison, James Garfield
Edge: Oprah. Even if she’s an import from Mississippi, among other places. She was Chicago’s best acquisition since Fergie Jenkins in 1966—though Cleveland should get credit for importing Howard the Duck. Actually, no it shouldn’t.
CITY NICKNAMES
Chicago: The Windy City, My Kind of Town, Chi-Town, Second City
Cleveland: The Mistake on the Lake, The Rock and Roll Capital of the World, Sixth City, Forest City
Edge: Chicago – unless one counts “Mistake on the Lake” as a positive moniker.
FICTIONAL SPORTS HEROES
Chicago: Henry Rowengartner, Saturday Night Live’s Bill Swerski Super fans
Cleveland: Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn, Harry Doyle
Edge: Cleveland. #winning
MAJOR SPORTS TITLES
Chicago: 29
Cleveland: 13
Edge: Michael Jordan
NEARBY BODY OF WATER
Chicago: Lake Michigan
Cleveland: Lake Erie
Edge: Cleveland. Erie has a cooler name, and Chicago isn’t even in Michigan!
So there you have it. Chicago has more going for it in its World Series matchup with Cleveland—which, of course, gives the Indians even more “under” status in the battle of underdogs. So if you want to buck (a greater amount of) history and back the team with more intangibles, don your Cubs gear. But if you want to stick with the long shot, support Planet Cleveland.
And if you want a good slice of cheese, go to Manhattan.
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TikTok shocked by 15-year-old unhinged viral clip of kids performing Scarface in school play
Think about the most outrageous film that could be adapted to the stage. Now, imagine the cast of that theatrical production is entirely children, ranging in age from 7 to 10. Now, film it and let the world react.
That’s what director Marc Klasfeld had in mind when he held auditions with professional child actors for a shocking video, meant to look like an elementary school production of the cult film-favorite Scarface. In a now 15-year-old interview with Entertainment Weekly, when asked why he thought this was a good idea, Klasfeld admits, "I thought this would be a nice fit into the kind of YouTube arena of viral videos. And I was right."
The result? Kids yelling “mother-fudger,” piles of popcorn meant to look like cocaine, and outrageous, lengthy scenes of children pointing Super Soakers at one another.
Marc, mostly known as an accomplished commercial and music video director, later adds, "I enjoy making provocative art. I like stirring debate and causing conversation. You're going to get two sides of the coin no matter what you do. People are going to love and hate everything. People loved and hated Avatar. People loved and hated the Jennifer Aniston movie. And people love and hate this. I guess that's a part of having something that's successful out there. There’s got to be certain people that hate it for people to love it."
Once they got their perfect cast, it didn’t take long to put together. He shares, "It was a one-take, so it was pretty much just choosing the right take. About a month altogether."
People sure did react, as it acquired millions of views and comments from all over the Internet. Some were horrified, some were outraged, and many thought it was the funniest thing they'd ever seen. But Marc emphasizes that the kids in the video were not scandalized. "They’ve heard the f-word. They’ve seen more violence in their everyday lives for as long as they can remember. So for this, they’ve seen worse things than this all the time. So this wasn’t that big of a deal for them."
Enter TikTok. The clip (which just popped up again recently on Facebook) was reposted a few years back, and, once again, the comments continue to run the gamut from indignation to full praise. One TikTok user exclaimed, "Bro, I can’t even remember my grocery list, how the fudge did these kids memorize this whole scene lol?"
Others expressed confusion: "I'm not sure whether to be angry or amazed." Some chose anger: "Just imagine, you know these kids watched the movie to get the characters right. And the parents cheering? Yeah, yeah."
Many commenters believed it was a real school play and commended the production for "keepin' it real": "That school keeps it real. Nowadays, kids know so much about guns and drugs, might as well teach them that bad choices don’t end well."
Yet another enjoyed it but was concerned that the parents of the children would not. "Love the tray full of popcorn. But my God, I would hate to see the hell these parents probably raised."
For the most part, the reviews were glowing. Many complimented the acting, and one claimed they definitely would have "preferred this play over their own school production of Macbeth."
And perhaps the biggest compliment? "Al Pacino will be proud."