Trans man's joy from being called "bossman" in kebab shop gets perfect response from other guys

“As a trans man, there's nothing more gender affirming than being called "bossman" in the kebab shop,” @perscitia posted on the subreddit r/CasualUK. “Forget all the medication and the surgeries and everything else, getting a casual "boss" or "mate" from a random bloke is worth everything. Made my entire week!” He maybe wasn’t expecting an outpouring of upvotes, now numbering around 29K and a host of wholesome, kind comments from people not just commiserating but congratulating him.

“A thousand Mans, lads, mates, fellas and sirs to you on this blessed day. You are seen,” @Scarrmann wrote.

“ONE OF US, ONE OF US,” @Miphaling wrote.

Kebab Shop Photo by Stefan Sommarsj\u00f6 on Unsplash

Trans men and cis men also shared their stories of the first time they were called “bossman” or “mate,” as the British often refer to men, and how affirming it felt.

“As a cis man there's little more gender affirming than that too. It's a sign you're not a boy anymore,” @reverandglass wrote.

“Partner and I are both FTM and still get hype when the chippy staff go ‘what’ll it be lads?’”@krabbkat wrote. Note for those in the US: “chippy” refers to a place that serves fish and chips.

A trans woman also weighed in, sharing how affirmed she felt when someone called her “love,” for the first time, a term of endearment often used for women in Britain. “As a trans girl, being called ‘Love" is just chef's kiss,” @busytransitgworl wrote. “I know how that feels from the opposite side and it's wonderful! Bossman 🤝 Love. Together we stand.”

Two people also shared stories about calling trans men “mate” without thinking then learning about how much it meant to them:

A comment from u/badguysenatorScreenshot from r/CasualUK

A comment from u/greenwood90Screenshot from r/CasualUK

To receive such positivity in face of recent anti-trans news in the UK is so powerful. On April 16, the UK Supreme Court ruled that the country’s Equality Act, which seeks to prevent discrimination, would only refer to “biological” women and not transgender women. “‘The unanimous decision of this court is that the terms ‘woman’ and ‘sex’ in the Equality Act 2010 refer to biological women and biological sex,’” Lord Patrick Hodge, the Supreme Court’s deputy president said, according to The New York Times, adding that “trans people would continue to have protections against discrimination, but that it would be under the protected characteristic of ‘gender reassignment’ rather than sex.” Because of this change in definition, though, trans men are also affected, and could be incorrectly grouped in with women based on the "biological" definition the court has chosen.

Activist groups like Amnesty International have said they’ll need more time to understand exactly how the ruling affects trans people. Sacha Deshmukh, Amnesty’s chief executive, issued a statement saying as much: “There are potentially concerning consequences for trans people, but it is important to stress that the court has been clear that trans people are protected under the Equality Act against discrimination and harassment,” he said, according to the Times. There will be more to consider as the new definitions continue to roll out.

When some people are intent on trans exclusionary action, however, the moments of kindness and victory become even more important, even when they’re in a kebab shop or a subreddit. As OP shared, “it's so nice to have some friendly support, and honestly reflects my experience for the most part. Most people are nice and just want to get on with things. It's really just a small amount of wankers wanting to upset things for us.”