Woman who lost her sister asked her professor for an extension. His response is a powerful lesson in empathy

Grief is always personal. Every person has a unique way of coping with the loss of a loved one. While some tend to withdraw from their social life, others lose focus and become inattentive to their surroundings. Going through grief often leads to people finding themselves in a state of vulnerability where intense emotions can overshadow the physical, social, and other aspects of life. Going through a personal loss during your school and college days can be a difficult experience. What they need the most at this time, is understanding professors. In a September 2020 tweet, a woman who goes as Alyssa (@actualdavidrose) on X, shared how her English professor acted in an empathetic and compassionate manner when she was grappling with the loss of her sister. The professor’s response to her request for an extension won the internet’s hearts.

“My sister died yesterday. can’t explain how much I appreciate my English professor’s compassion,” Alyssa wrote in the tweet and added a screengrab of her professor’s email. The email read, “Alyssa, I don’t know what to write. I have two sisters, and anyway, take all the time you need, no documentation needed.” The professor further emphasized that she didn’t need to worry about taking another extension if she needed it. “And you don’t need to promise not to take another extension – I’m giving you blanket flexibility in advance,” wrote the professor.

The rest of the message read, “You’ve already done good work so far, and my goal is for you to get something positive out of the class, and after what just happened if you just participate to the extent possible, I’ll make that work. Take care of yourself.” In the comments section, people praised the professor for doing the genuine thing in the given situation. “This professor seems like a genuinely good person,” commented @stpolishook. @offsetsynt4x said, “As a student this is remarkable.” @m_e_nielsen added, “Glad this teacher had a clear line of sight on the right thing to do.”

A woman @alyssfoxy shared a similar experience, “I had a professor just like this last year when I went through the same loss! She let me take a month off and gave me 2 months to take the exams whenever I pleased. She also offered to talk to me out of office hours about how I feel (unrelated to school) She was a blessing!”

Alyssa’s tweet was also reposted by u/kbdfan42 in Reddit’s r/mademesmile group, where over 117,000 people upvoted it and more than 750 commented. “An English professor saying they don’t know what to write speaks volumes,” said u/uptonogood119. u/adventurous-age6490 wrote, “It shows real humility- something I don’t see a whole lot of with other professors.” Reflecting on the importance of a professor’s kindness, u/pawrassicbark said, “The best way to make a huge impact on a student isn’t via the grades, it’s the development of a trusting and positive relationship.”

Others shared experiences with professors, quite opposite to Alyssa’s. “I lost my father last Saturday and one of my professors doesn’t really seem to be willing to work with me,” shared u/fellate_the_fate. u/moser319 recalled an experience when they literally failed a course at the university just because a professor thought they were uncaring of their studies, knowing very well that the student’s granny just passed away.